In my hearts I am so much of a child.
It is amazing and outrageous to be me. I fall in love with everything and everybody so easily. I have this unstoppable habit of absorbing and magnifying the good in everyone. Since I am able to sense out good and beautiful in everyone almost instinctively, I fall in love with everyone instantly. It gives me flickering yet fulfilling joy to be with people I love. It makes me restless when they are away. I work and think alone as that works best for me. And, I am usually the most productive when I am alone. But within those moments of intense and fulfilling labour, sometimes I miss you. You all. Even friendly stranger whom I might never meet again. Especially those of who in whom I have seen treasure houses of goodness, love and excellence.
But here is a child who has seen enough of the world to realize that people might or might not love you back.They may never know that you loved them so much. And their not knowing makes the love so compelling at first but slowly since it fails to achieve mutuality and form it dissolves into nothingness. The only thing it does is, it enriches the universe with positive love-like vibes.
It is difficult to be an experienced child. A child who knows that the doll she is crying for will never be hers, her fairy mother will never rescue her, she will never find that present near her pillow, she will be alone when she will need someone.
She still remains innocent, because she still believes in miracles, coincidences, love, luck, happiness, fulfillment and family. “May be someday” she wonders with a tearful-bright sparkle in her eyes.
But she knows within her that when she dies even if she lives to be 90 year old, she will still remain a child!
